Saturday, January 30, 2010

Breastfeeding dilemma....

Since i was a pregger, i always wanted to fully breastfeed my baby... I always talk to my belly that when ur out, mommy will bf u and give u the best... I got a lot of support from my family xspecially from cik mok n my mom...im one of lucky mommy i guess...

I do spend a lot on breastfeeding stuff, buying a good pump, konon pam tgn tu nipple sakit la kan... Hehe.. Buying a nursing cover, plan kalau2 g shopping baby nak nenen i could do it in public.... nursing bra..yg sgt standard cream colour which i hate the most.... and also nursing tops yg mahal-mcm-baju-butik tp just simple but yet usefull jugak lah... (ade secret hole boleh bukak2 ooo....utk kuarkan ehem..ehem) hee~~

But then , after i deliver auf the macho man...hihi... nurse tu tnya nak breastfeed or not?? and my answer mestilah yes... kan berkobar2 sebelum ni... im not sure if my colostrum dah ada or not... tp rasa cam ada atas sebab2 tertentu...(alahh...picit 'tut' and ade titik2 tu ade la kot)... dan trs bagi auf suck....dia pon mcm pandai...and then he's asleep after bout 10minute. i think i made it for the first step.

then i pushed to my ward... di bg makan...rehat n borak2 dgn my parent n parent-in-law.... then nurse dtg bwk auf.... she said that aku kena bagi auf minum sebanyak mungkin utk kasi dia poo-poo kalau tak dia punya sugar level akan tinggi dan mcm2 boleh jadi. Rasa sgt kekok ok nak bagi dia bf.... yelah, kan this is my first experience. rasa mcm sgt sakit kt nipple b'coz i think my milk didn't flow out.... tp auf tetap suck and cried and suck sampai dia tertido.... sampai malam tu.... he cried n im tired sebab xtido seharian dan sakit2 and i cried.... menangis sebab terlalu letih dan being unable to bf my baby.... then cik mok pggl nurse...nurse ckp baik bwk pegi nursery dan auf diberi his first fm....

After that auf disahkan pula jaundis. Dan kena tahan masuk lampu biru tuuu.... and docter said that the best way utk pulihkan dia cepat is by breastfeed.... time tu aku tinggal sorang kt hospital with auf in the nursery , cik mok balik ambil barang2... my breast engorged.... bengkak susu kate org.... so so pain full... and this is the time when i use my pump and try to pump it out... tak keluar! dan sgt sakit!.... i cried...........

every 2hours nurse akan call my room suruh aku dtg nursery to bf my baby... sebab baby xboleh keluar dari bilik tu dalam treatment....setiap kali tu la aku akan dtg sana dan try bf kat auf... tp tetap susu xkeluar... im so sad.... sebab auf hanya suck 'kosong2' saja n tertido... then masuk lampu biru panas tu dia nangis.... after all apa yg aku boleh buat... begging nurse suruh bagi dia fm...asalkan dia poo-poo , and his jaundis boleh kurang.... balik bilik aku nangis lagi when i called my mom.... she said, baru beranak xbaik sedih2...nangis2.... kena relex... but my feeling sgt sedih sebab xdapat bagi anak sendiri makan.... am i a bad mommy.....

then text cik mok...and he replied " Doa Allah permudahkan dan ada susu untuk anak kita yang kelaparan"..... lagi la aku nangis semahu2 nya....... huhu.... aku trs try pump...but this time using my hand... method alternatif la kan.... still the same... dapat la dalam 5-6 titik.... dgn nipple crack lagi...adoiai..

Mlm tu aku xboleh tido, but still try the best... pump guna tgn even titik2.... and in about 2 hours dapat dalam 5ml.... huh... then try lagi.... dapat hampir 10ml... sebab kasih sayang kat anak.... aku tebalkan muka hantar tht 10ml ke nursery for my baby.... nurse kerek kat situ pandang sgt hina...and letak dalam fridge with my name label sebelah ibu2 lain yang 4-5oz.... maybe aku sorang je la yang xde susu kot....

tp tu la.... usaha tu tangga kejayaan kot.... sepanjang kt hospital...every 1hour aku pump out to supply auf with my breast milk.... dgn harapan auf cepat sehat n discharge. and in the third day , i manage to get 40ml, by hand...

And now, after a month auf still bf with me.... even bila pump i just can get 1-2oz per session , i think that it's his demand.... docter tu kata... susu keluar by baby demand... byk mana yang dia minum....tp aku rasa mcm xcukup je... so far i still can handle auf demand but then if anything happen (xcukup susu ke) , aku rasa aku akan redha.... sebab bukan xusaha.... dari segi permakanan... i tried all the food n drink yang bykkan susu.... horlicks...soya...sardin... longan.... lobak putih.... kentang dan paling baru ASI pills.... tetap sama....

ade sesekali auf mengamuk2 sebab rasa dia haus sgt kot.... my dad ckp.... "campur je la ya"... and make me give up.... lagi2 nak naik kerja , and i just collect about 120z (2oz per bottle) of ebm.... macam mana nak naik kerja ni.... aku redha....if one day auf kena minum campur dengan fm....
bukan kate aku berputus asa.... tp lebih kepada redha....dan xnak menaruh harapan tinggi...

tp sehingga entry ini ditulis.... auf tetap dengan susu ibu....even i went out in public tetap bf dia.... still pump out milk sikit2 lama2 jadi bukit.... dan still berdoa Allah permudahkan segalanya.... and i hope every decision that i make or will make after this adalah yang terbaik....

sekian.

13 comments:

Daddy and ibu to Alia Kaiyisah said...

dear,
mula dulu saya pun mcm tu. semua kelengkapan utk BF memang dah sedia untuk Kaish. tapi, after deliver nampaknya rezeki nak fully BF dia tak ada. but still, Alham$dulillah masih ada susu utk BF Kaish even tak sepenuhnya. itu pun dah syukur sangat.

org cakap mentaliti ibu tu penting. masa mula-mula, smpai one time saya pump guna tangan hampir 3 jam but hasilnya sangat buat saya menitik air mata. lepas tu, terus fikir (+)ve. if ada rezeki Kaish, i akan BF dia even susu sikit. so now, akan pastikan waktu malam Kaish tak minum FM.

itu je yang mampu sy buat sebagai ibu. dah cuba yang terbaik. awak pun boleh, Insya-Allah sbb memang awak fully BF auf setakat ni kan?.

yayafrdz said...

hye ibu alia,
Thanks drop by n read my blog. itu lah, kite hanya merancang dan tuhan tentukan segalanya... And yes, so far saya still fully bf auf... masa akan menentukan sejauh mana.

yayafrdz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
aLyNnZ said...

Hmm..ayah alin dulu pun pernah patahkn semangat alin..ayah alin tgk danish xlena tido n ayah decide Danish lapar n asyik trjg..tp jgn mudah give up..

yaya baby boy nie kuat susu berbanding baby girl..think positive air susu akan bnyk..

Hannah Johary said...

Tersentuh baca entry ni.

Tu la kita mothers selalu nak the best for our child, but things sometimes don't turn out the way we want them to.

Tak apa, as long as awak usaha, InsyaAllah ada juga nanti. Tapi kalau tak ada juga, ada hikmah di sebaliknya. Kita tak tahu, Allah je yang maha mengetahui.

Yang penting, we try our best.

Cheer up, friend! Saya sayang awak. :)

mas said...

terharunye.....
kuatkan semangat ye yaya.....
dugaan utk yaya....dugaan saye mgkn lain kn....
tp...be +ve :)

m@Ri@ said...

takpe yaya..teruskan usaha yaya..maria pn kena gk mcm ni time kt spital..aqil jenis minum sikit..so nurse ingat maria takde susu..so diorg ni asyik kata ada susu ke x ni..em sbb give up campur gak dgn fm..dan skrg kt umah mmg fully bf..tp org bila denga aqil sll bangun mlm minum susu diorg akn kata sbb susu maria tak byk kot..em kenapa org sll bkn nk bg galakan kt kita tp dok mengata je..apepun kita teruskan usaha kita sama2 ye yaya..

yayafrdz said...

alynz : baby boy mmg kuat susu. Auf 2jam sekali. Tp tu la, kalau dia nenen scr logiknya kita xtahu brapa sebenarnya amount yg dia minum..

Hannah : thanks friend.... aah, ada hikmahnye kot. korang buat saya bersemangat. Hee...

Mas: thanks mas...

Maria: mmg tau maria. Bukan semua org fhm perasaan kite. Kawan pon ada yg perlekehkan,tp kalau dia buat camtu sama mcm dia perlekehkan kejadian tuhan.bukan semua org boleh bg sokongan dlm apa yg kita buat. Byk kritik ade la.patutnya sbg kwn sedapkan ati kite kan... Hehe..thanks awk. Kita sama2 cuba yg terbaik.

Maria :

cik_mila83 said...

yaya,
teruskan usaha ok?

aLyNnZ said...

hmm..btul gak biler baby bf kiter tk leh tau brp bnyk amaount yg baby minum..

little miss kechik said...

i feel u babe. you know i went through the same thing. hannah went on a nursing rampage.. and it was so tiring.. and frustrating for both hannah & i. i feel awful, like you said.. a mom who couldnt feed her own baby. yes, it is very sad feeling and i just cry, cry. and everyone around me is ever ready to feed her the formula.

but take it from me.. susu ibu tu rezeki baby. it will be ok. insyaAllah you will come around. as long as auf is thriving, everything will be fine.

but please dont be like me.. you know what i mean la kan.. ahahhaha!

Dayu said...

hhmmmm, tu jugak yang dirisaukan
yelah, kita semangat, berusungguh2 pasang cita2 nak bagi susu badan kat anak.. nak bagi hasil terbaik untuk dia.. tp bila jadik kes2 gini.. rasa frust mesti mengunung kan...
takpe yaya.. at least smpai skrg auf still dpt ur milk...

@ MaMa ALyA @ said...

hye dear...
baru jer baca ur blog...delima kita sama.. but i manage to collect 12 bottle for EBM.. tapi dah nak habis dah sbb takde 5 hari dgn baby..huhu...

mmg sbg ibu kita nak yg terbaik untuk anak kita and susu ibu is the best milk ever in the world... tiada tandingannyer.. insyaAllah kalau niat mmg nak fully BF baby susu tu akan ada..
nurul pun till now fully BF my baby even dah nak start keje dah.. ngeee...berat jer rasakan bila nak bagi FM kat baby..

takpe...berdikit-dikit dulu yer.. yg penting kita dah buat yg terbaik for our lil baby...